It appears that my first installment of “My ‘The Stig’ Sayings” has drawn quite a crowd. So I’ve decided to install a second part in hopes that Top Gear will use some of my own personal sayings on The Stig. My inside sources tell me that although Top Gear has not officially found a new Stig, they already have a short list of candidates that they are currently talking to. I wish I could tell you more but Top Gear might hunt me down and kill me, displaying my carcass on the show… Without further ado, here are my new sayings:
- Some say that when he uses a computer he’ll have an outbreak of the hives and that he can’t float in water and that alone is why he’s afraid of ducks… all we know is that he’s called The Stig
- Some say that when he goes in to get his helmet shined that he has to be put under horse tranquilizers and the color of his urine is white so you can never really tell if he’s pee’d his suit… all we know is that he’s called The Stig
- Some say that he thinks that the word ”procreate” is someone who is a professional at being creative and that he once attempted to learn how to swim and almost drowned in one foot of water… all we know is that he’s called The Stig
- Some say that had a car built in a bomb shelter but can’t get it out and that his right foot weighs 3.14159 grams (which is pi) heavier than his left foot… all we know is that he’s called The Stig
- Some say that he once was the escape driver for the US President and for the Queen at the same dinner ball and hated it and that he once played checkers against James May and won… all we know is that he’s call The Stig
